More Than Just a Dream

Sitting on my cluttered study table, and chatting with my best friend about closing down this blog because I feel no one really read it anyway, I went into my dreamland.

It's just funny how we look for acceptance from people around us, while forgetting that the only acceptance that matters is our own. All of the times when Likes on Facebook has validated our beauty, or the times the number of friends on social media has made us feel accepted. All of us have gone through that. That's one reason I wanted to close this blog down. I felt as if no one reads it, or appreciates it, and there is no point in keeping this going. But, when my best friend said, "Ridhee, you like writing!", I thought to myself, Yes. I like writing. This blog, that I started six years ago, is my way of  expressing myself through writing." So, why is it that I am giving up on this beautiful part of me because people don't read it? That's not why I started it in the first place.

That is when I realized that people don't matter. It is people who expect you to behave in a certain way, and do certain things to fit into society's mold of 'person'. Someone cannot make you feel bad about yourself until you give them that power. By letting it affect you. You are what you are. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You have the potential. Your dreams matter. You matter. And, what you do with yourself matters. It doesn't matter that half the world is against you because you want to stand up against violence you believe is wrong.

There are going to be people everywhere who wouldn't understand you, who would put you down, who would betray you, who would talk behind your back, who would stand with you, who would give you the courage, who would tell you how important you are, who would give you a reason to continue. Accept all kinds of people. Listen closely to those giving you feedback. Discard those who don't help you grow. Do what you love.

The only validation one requires is one's own.

P.S This blog is going to be up and running like always.

Special thanks to Pooja Kiran. 

The Truth About Education

Education is amazing. It’s what creates you, it’s what exposes you. Through education, you realize your passion and calling. Its education that helps you form opinions about issues and people and things. True. All of that, and much more, is true.

But, what is education when you’re more stressed about getting that paper or that homework in, than actually enjoying what you’re studying and understanding. What is education when you care more about what your predicted grade in a particular subject is than what concept you aren’t able to get your head around?

Don’t get me wrong, I love education. I love studying. I love just knowing that rights and wrongs are social constructs made by society, I love understanding how different theatrical devices and ideas affect the audience of the piece, I love seeing how one color an author has used can say so much about his state of mind at that moment, I love learning a completely new language, I love making that connection between Donald Trump and Hitler and seeing why both of them are rising/rose to power and actually see history repeat itself (almost, hopefully not). I love studying.

But, I don’t see the purpose when I am stressed out enough to have a mental breakdown during class, or come home exhausted and have to face a huge workload that I need to submit in the next day. What is the point of all of this, when you’re going to reduce something as beautiful as knowledge and education to workload; reduce it to students comparing studying to stress; to the word ‘study’ having negative connotations in a student’s life.

And, don’t even get me started on exams. Exams are not to measure your success throughout the year and fathom what you’ve understood and learnt. If you ask an average student, exams is for that grade at the end with which they can apply to university or have a standing in the society. That grade is what defines a person in our lives nowadays. That success in anything and everything is what defines a person in this age and world. How wrong could we get? Are we trying to measure a person’s ability with the way he performs in maths, while his passion lies in dance? Are we saying that someone is incapable of doing anything just because he got a D in school? It’ll be this guy who will end up starting a million dollar company, and then we will use his example as inspiration.

I have one request from everyone around the world. Please do not reduce knowledge to something like exams and grades. Knowledge is a lot more profound and beautiful than a letter on a piece of paper.

Its Just Another Set of Exams

I know your boards are starting soon. I know you are nervous, anxious, and freaking out. You probably even think that you might be under-prepared. I went through exactly what you are going through last year. The nervousness, the anxiety, the over-thinking, it was all there through the whole study break.

So, as someone who has been through this, I write to make you feel confident for your 'boards'. Your boards are nothing but another set of exams you have to tackle to get into the next year. It is just another test to see if you are qualified enough to get to the next class. The only difference is that it is marked by people who aren't your teachers. And, that's okay. You don't have to focus on that. Keep in mind that these exams are not going to make or break your future. Mark sheets don't have the power to do that until you give them that power.

I'm not saying treat it lightly or don't study. It's a milestone. But, don't put your boards on a very high pedestal. They don't belong there. That is unnecessarily putting so much pressure on your head that you are going to end up getting saturated, tired, and incapable of studying. Instead, study so that you understand what is happening. It isn't understanding when you read something and say to yourself, "Yep, I got it." It is understanding when you take a set of difficult questions on the topic and are able to solve it without too much of a problem.

You might have a lot of subjects, and you definitely are not going to like all of them (during my boards, I despised five of eight of my subjects). I know it is difficult, but enjoy the subjects while it lasts, Drop all your feelings and inhibitions about that subject, just take in all the information. Listen to what the subject is trying to tell you! You will not only learn a lot for your exam, you might even end up actually liking the subject.

Also (especially for them IGCSE students), don't ever ignore a paper thinking it isn't important. That paper could actually be the difference between a B and an A. If I'd done well in my Economics MCQ, I would have probably had 7 As and 1 B. And, never get overconfident for a subject. Give each subject enough time and study it. Revise everything in detail. Make sure you understand. Make sure you can explain what you have learnt to someone who has no knowledge about that subject.

Guys, the boards, or any other exam for that matter, will not make or break your future. The only reason this is important is because it gives you a milestone; it gives you an idea about what you like and what you don't. Your boards are just another way of testing you, so don't give in to societal pressure, and definitely don't negatively stress yourself out.

This, coming from someone who has already seen that the boards are nothing compared to what you're going to face later, and how insignificant your grades start seeming down the line. But, that's no reason not to study! Grades do decide your immediate future. Don't mess it up, and don't stress too much.

All the best! 

Conquering My Dreams

I never expected Grade 11 to be easy. I never expected it to be this hard, either. I wanted to do IB, partly because I could do subjects from all streams in this board, and partly because I wanted to challenge myself. I wasn't disappointed in both aspects. IB teaches me lessons about life I wouldn't have ever learnt otherwise.

Now, physics is my dream. Astronomy is what I am working towards every second of my life. I have interests elsewhere, but I am crazy, mad, psycho about astronomy. I am obsessed with astronomy. So, the indecision and panic I feel when I fail again and again to get a grip on the only subject I care about is intense. Just knowing that this is the last shot you have to correct everything so that you can follow your dreams and live a content life, the way you want it, is overwhelming. Every time, I make a mistake, or don't understand something, its a panicky situation. That knowledge, my own expectations, my parents' expectations and just everything around me comes up on me, pushes me down, forces me to think of different options, makes me indecisive, and makes me want to give up.

Giving up has never been an option for me. Astronomy has stayed through thirteen years of my life, and giving it up is taking my own life. So, now that there are two more years I got to study to establish my foundation, and it's proving to be the most difficult and scary moments of my life, giving up seems very friendly. But, giving up is never a way out, is it? Giving up means not trying; not knowing what could have happened if I hadn't given up. Giving up means completely letting go of the little hope I have left.

Giving up also means a new beginning; a beginning to all those different could haves. Giving up also means a new life, a happy life, a life I was supposed to live. Oh, the dilemma.

Thinking about it now, I don't see why, at the age of 16, should I give up on something so precious to me, Life gets hard, doesn't mean I give up on everything. Isn't that the point of life? Isn't life supposed to throw huge obstacles at you every time? The people who manage to get through all these obstacles are the winners.

So, this is an obstacle I need to face and get through. An obstacle that will make me stronger. Its just a matter of time and my strength to move a step forward and conquer what I love most. Nothing can ever stop my progress to become an astronomer.