Dreams...

Dreams...the word itself sounds so philosophical and out of the world. As if its something that cant be understood easily. On the contrary, its very simple. The English dictionary describes it in three ways. The first is a series of thoughts, visions, or feelings that happen during sleep. The second is an idea or vision that is created in your imagination and that is not real. The third is something that you have wanted very much to do, be, or have for a long time. 

Here, I would be talking about the third meaning. Something that you have always wanted to do or become or something you have always wanted to posses. Everyone has dreams. They want a future they have dreamt of. Some people have every aspect of their future mapped out, and they are determined on following that plan. Some people dont really know what to do with their lives, but they do dream. They dream about what kind of a future they want.

I have dreams. Big dreams. These dreams I have had for a long, long time. I've had them for around ten years now. And, I want to fulfill them. Anything for them. But, now, as I am growing up, and its time to put the first of my plans that were on paper, into action, I hesitate. Contradicting thoughts start coming in. Because, life doesnt go the way we plan it. We plan it in a way where we get whatever we want, without any heartbreaks, and tears. But, life isn't that. It consists of heartbreaks, tears, achievements, fun, friend, everything. So, life alters our plans. It gives us everything in a balanced quantity. And, we find ourselves in a completely new place. After which we have to re-make our plans.

I have my future mapped out, but I am scared of the times when life will give me a completely new situation and I have to make my way after that. If my dreams are not realized, I will be shattered. I will be in a scary place where everyone is doing what they want to do and I dont know what to do. And, there would be no one who would come to my help.

So, now, when I am putting the first of my plans into action, I hesitate. I hesitate because, if I go wrong anywhere, my foundation would be shattered. I also hesitate because I wont be able to support myself financially, and I dont know if I will win a scholorship. Its scary now, when I think of it, but, on the contrary, having no plan is much more scarier.

Maybe now, I would just harness my skills, and try my best to fulfill my dreams....but, I guess, everyone is scared when it comes to getting out of school....

:)