Conquering My Dreams

I never expected Grade 11 to be easy. I never expected it to be this hard, either. I wanted to do IB, partly because I could do subjects from all streams in this board, and partly because I wanted to challenge myself. I wasn't disappointed in both aspects. IB teaches me lessons about life I wouldn't have ever learnt otherwise.

Now, physics is my dream. Astronomy is what I am working towards every second of my life. I have interests elsewhere, but I am crazy, mad, psycho about astronomy. I am obsessed with astronomy. So, the indecision and panic I feel when I fail again and again to get a grip on the only subject I care about is intense. Just knowing that this is the last shot you have to correct everything so that you can follow your dreams and live a content life, the way you want it, is overwhelming. Every time, I make a mistake, or don't understand something, its a panicky situation. That knowledge, my own expectations, my parents' expectations and just everything around me comes up on me, pushes me down, forces me to think of different options, makes me indecisive, and makes me want to give up.

Giving up has never been an option for me. Astronomy has stayed through thirteen years of my life, and giving it up is taking my own life. So, now that there are two more years I got to study to establish my foundation, and it's proving to be the most difficult and scary moments of my life, giving up seems very friendly. But, giving up is never a way out, is it? Giving up means not trying; not knowing what could have happened if I hadn't given up. Giving up means completely letting go of the little hope I have left.

Giving up also means a new beginning; a beginning to all those different could haves. Giving up also means a new life, a happy life, a life I was supposed to live. Oh, the dilemma.

Thinking about it now, I don't see why, at the age of 16, should I give up on something so precious to me, Life gets hard, doesn't mean I give up on everything. Isn't that the point of life? Isn't life supposed to throw huge obstacles at you every time? The people who manage to get through all these obstacles are the winners.

So, this is an obstacle I need to face and get through. An obstacle that will make me stronger. Its just a matter of time and my strength to move a step forward and conquer what I love most. Nothing can ever stop my progress to become an astronomer.

Blood Red Diamonds: Diya

I was lost for words when Natasha got up and walked out of the whole project. Just because I wasn’t researching about what I was supposed to. After all, we found the same information! Why did she expect me to get more information than her? I think she just needed an excuse to get out of it. Even in class, I tried pleading, but she ignored me. I did see her attention span decrease drastically in class, though.  So, if she too doesn’t want to be a part of this, I’ll do it myself. I am more than capable of it. But, inside I knew that Natasha had the brains I needed. And the connections. I was missing out on a lot. But, I convinced myself I could do it on my own. So, I sat down to research more in the night, shunning out all the other interests that were craving for my attention.

I slept while researching this topic, with no breakthrough. Even the internet seemed to give up when it came to this topic. No one knew what happened to the thief after he was caught, and the red diamond after it was stolen. I was getting depressed day by day. I needed to know more about this, to find out if the school held it. At this rate, I could slip into clinical depression!

The next day, I got ready for school with a heavy heart and was quiet till break. My friends coaxed me to tell them my problems, but how would they understand? That’s when Natasha came up to me, and said she was sorry. She said that she was intrigued by it against her wishes and would join back. She looked at me meekly, and I was just so grateful and happy, I bear-hugged her! She slipped and almost fell, but regained her balance. When I let her go, she was smiling at me. The first thing she said was, “Meet me at the library during our free classes. I’ll already be there. Come, and we’ll discuss about this.” She then, went and started reading her book, as was the norm.  I looked at her for a second and turned back to my friends, suddenly turning into the chirpy bird that I was. My friends felt weird about the whole issue, but as long as I had Natasha with me on this plan, all was well, and I didn’t care about anything else. 

Gender Bias Against Men

This is my topic for a project of mine in school. I was so disappointed when I started researching on it though. There was no material on this topic on the internet. Every time I Googled this phrase, the majority of links I found would indirectly go back to saying how feminism and women empowerment should be the focus of society in today's world.

I don't disagree. Feminism is an integral topic that needs to be looked at in today's society, owing to the fact that the world is evolving and growing, and gender equality is something the world should work towards. Notice that I used the phrase gender equality. And, I mean gender equality. Instead, what I find the world focusing on today is how to keep women on top of the men. Nope, we don't need a reverse situation.

Let's face it. Men face gender stereotypes everyday. And we choose to overlook it. They are everywhere around us. While we wouldn't stand a gender stereotype exercised against a woman, we would laugh it off if a gender stereotype was exercised against a man. Well, that isn't gender equality.

So, what is gender equality? Oxford dictionary defines this term as "The state in which access to rights or opportunities is unaffected by gender." That basically means every gender should be able to access what the world has to offer. 

But, gender equality is so much more than that! Its about demolishing all those "rules" we've built for each gender, its about both the genders embracing their selves. Its about the man being able to cry openly, and the woman not being judged for not marrying. Its about the man be a stay-at-home husband while the wife be the breadwinner. Its about a man not hitting a woman not because she is a woman, but because violence is wrong. Its about a woman trusting a stranger because we're all human beings.

Then why is it that men have to be under so much pressure from the society while the women slowly get liberated? Don't men deserve to be liberated? Shouldn't we, as human beings, even look at the other side of the coin?

Men have to hide their emotions in the 21st century. And, suffer questions on his manliness if he defies that rule.
Men can't branch out into a lot of jobs. Because, hey! They need to get the money for the family right? And, god forbid if they want to get into 'womanly' jobs. They would again have to go through the humiliation of not being 'manly' enough.
Men are still shown as lazy asses and irresponsible people on the television. They just have the woman to do everything!

Those are a minute example of what it is like for men. Add in the skewed concept of feminism. Life gets hard for a man. And we don't seem to acknowledge that. We think the men have it easy. Well, ask a man, and he'll have to think twice before even telling you something.

Out of those dozens and dozens of articles on how women are mistreated and deserve a chance, there should be one article about how men are mistreated and should be understood.

There was an amazing interactive show put up by Yours Truly Theatre in Bangalore focusing on this very issue. Name was Boys Don't Cry, and it was an instant success. It talked about three different issues the man faces in his daily life.

Gender bias against men isn't a small issue. Its thriving, and it affects men in the same way stereotypes against women affected us. And, its our duty to enforce GENDER EQUALITY. Not a skewed up version of feminism, or as they call it, feminazism.

I Regret Being a Girl

A few days ago I went for auditions for my school production. In the second round, I had to talk about something I regretted doing. I didn't get selected for it, but I was just thinking about what I would have said if I did get selected. I thought of everything I had done that I truly truly regretted, but nothing came into my mind. Not that I haven't done anything worth regretting, I just couldn't remember. Yes, I was embarrassed about a lot of things I had done, but never regretted any of it. Then, I stumbled upon something I regretted being.

You guessed it. I regretted being a girl. Still do. And, I think, there are quite a few reasons why. I don't think I would just start regret being myself without any triggers. I thought about it a lot. Why I would regret being someone I am; someone I feel comfortable in sometime. I regret being a girl but I don't want to change my gender. The irony.

When I thought about it, I thought it has a lot to do with the society and environment I grew up in. My parents are quite modern with their views and actions. All through my life they haven't stopped me from doing anything. They've always striven to instill curiosity in me about something and then, went out of their way to quench it to the best of their abilities. Even now, after I have grown up a bit, and am filled to the brim with various kinds of activities, including studying, they never stop me from trying out new activities.

But, I grew up in a society where there were a lot of restrictions because of both, 'tradition and culture' and safety. I wasn't stopped from mingling or befriending anyone. I had a wide variety of friends, and I had loads of fun. My first restriction came when I was 13, and it wasn't forced upon me by my parents. In fact, none of my restrictions have been forced upon me by my parents. I was not allowed to mingle with boys. This was in one of my schools, and it was a huge blow to me because the first gender I would choose to make friends with are the boys. It wasn't clear to me from the beginning, it started becoming clear when there were a few restrictions for me alone.

At the time, I was confused. I didn't know what was happening! I had never been stopped from befriending anyone! Had I done something wrong? I couldn't think of something wrong that I had done. I was then called for counselling in the school where they counselled me out of befriending the boys. That didn't really happen. Eventually, I left that school. It had left a huge impact on me, though. I became aware of society's expectations of me, how to behave and how not to behave, their expectations of me mingling with whom, and doing what, keeping track of my every move.

After that, I became aware of some of my girlfriends not liking me because I hanged out with guys. I never forced them, they just didn't like that one of their friends interacted with the other gender. I became aware of some of my friends' parents being disagreeable of their kids hanging out with me because I was 'too spoilt'. Every time I went pass people I imagined them talking about me, saying things about me just because I hanged out with human beings that were made a little differently than me.

I also became aware of some of my male friends avoiding me so that society doesn't start pointing fingers at them too. I think, that was my breaking point. From then on I consciously got into the race to be more masculine. I regretted being me, I regretted being feminine. I wanted to be accepted, and I thought if I became more masculine, people wouldn't see me as a girl, they would instead see a boy. Ofcourse, that didn't happen. I never really thought of changing my gender, I was comfortable in it! But, I regretted it. That was the main reason I started regretting being myself. There are other petty reasons, all put on me by the society. Reasons like acting in a particular way, not doing somethings the guys do, branding me as weaker without knowing my potential. All this put me down. Why did they think I wasn't good enough?

Through all this, I also realized that I actually got into the race of becoming masculine much before than I thought I did. Unconsciously, I got into the race long, long before I became 13, probably when I was 6-7 years old. I didn't even realize it then, but I had already started disliking most of the things girls like.

P.S This is a personal thought and not meant to offend anyone. Especially the female gender. I respect the gender, and would help anyone in need. I don't look down upon the whole feminine gender, just me. I really would stand up for the girls if I had to. This is not meant to offend anyone. 

5 Months Ago

So, it's been quite some time since I put up a blog post. I didn't really have anything to write about (LIE LIE LIE LIE. I COULD HAVE WRITTEN ON A LOT OF STUFF!!!!!) But, I am back, and now, I am making a target for myself so that this beloved part of me doesn't get rejected while I play life. Hope to see a post every week!

So, I had to write this ten days ago, and thankfully, I set about writing it before the month end. For the record, my summers weren't as boring as I thought they would be. My summer in a nutshell: Internship at an accounting firm, India trip for two weeks, an amazing four day theater workshop.

On 13th, five months ago, I'd given my last board exam and stepped out of my school in Bangalore, feeling free and light-hearted. There was exactly a month I had left in that beautiful place, before I moved to my new home, here in Hong Kong. There were so many more feelings coursing through me at the time. Anticipation, excitement, anxiety, sadness, helplessness, happiness, to name a few. Oh, I still remember that last month where I scrambled to meet all the people I could, say my last goodbyes, freeze time forever in those moments, even somehow convince a few of them to join me in Hong Kong (well, it wasn't successful, but Skype). My friends threw at me various emotions, I thought never existed for me, they threw me a mind-blowing farewell party, and so did YT.

And, Dad joined us in Bangalore on the first of April. The thirteen days after that are much of a blur. There was so much being done to shift everything from our apartment to another one, sell things off, prepare for leaving one last time. The thirteenth, though, was a day of emotions. My best friends cried and tried to hide it, we went to our favorite spot one last time, so much happened in those few hours, that its a little difficult to believe it did happen.

These five months zipped past quite fast for me, especially those two weeks in India (heart stab). And, exactly five months later, on the 13th, I had my induction in school; my first step to start school. Five days before it officially started. Its been ten days now, and that day is still clear in my memory. Listening to my teacher telling us all about the school, acquainting myself with a completely new place, coming to terms with how differently this place would be run and most of all meeting friends from all over the world (almost). All the anxiety I went through on that day has now given way to familiarity and fun.

Its been a week since school officially started. I am enjoying all the subjects I have taken already, and I have a feeling all my submissions and exams are going to go great, just because I enjoy the subjects (haha, I hope so, hard work, I need to find you)! I look forward to a happening two years in this new city, and new school. And, I'll come back with (hopefully) good content next week!

Climate Change

"Look. There's a lot of official stuff I could quote and put up on the screen with PowerPoint. But what you need to know, what the world needs to know, it that we're really destroying the earth in a bigger and more catastrophic way than anyone has ever imagined.

I mean, I've seen a lot of the world, the only world we have. There are so many awesome, beautiful things in it. Waterfalls and mountains, thermal pools surrounded by ice and snow as far as you can see. Beautiful beaches with sand like white sugar. Fields and fields of wildflowers. Places where the ocean crashes up against a mountainside, like it's done for hundreds of thousands of years.

I've also seen concrete cities with hardly any green. And rivers whose pretty rainbow surfaces came from an oil leak upstream. Animals are become extinct right now, in my lifetime. Just recently, I went through one of the worst hurricanes ever recorded. It was a whole lot worse because of huge, worldwide climate change caused by...us. We, the people.

Every minute of every day, cars belch exhaust. Factories spew toxins into the air, land, and water. We've cleared millions of square miles of forests, rain forests, and plains, which means tons of topsoil is just washing away. Which means loss of animals and plants, and increased fires, floods, and coastal disintegration. Just by stuff people have made, created, we're raising the overall temperature of the entire atmosphere. Well, we only have the one atmosphere! Can we hold our breath until we get a new one?

The problem is here, now. Nine of the ten hottest years ever recorded have happened in my lifetime. I'm fourteen. More or less. There have been record-setting weather extremes across the globe-tornadoes, hurricanes, typhoons, droughts, wildfires, tsunamis. We're warming up the planet, and the planet's ice is melting. If only fifty percent of the world's ice melts, countless rivers and streams will overflow and then dry up, killing hundreds of people from disease and starvation. The ocean water level will rise anywhere from four feet to maybe twenty feet. How many of your favorite vacation spots would be under water? Want to see the Eiffel Tower by canoe? Do any of you own beach houses? Kiss 'em goodbye. And not two hundred years from now. Soon. Maybe withing this lifetime.

We can't reverse this disaster, even if we all pitched in now and did everything we could, which, face it, we're not going to do. A small percentage of us will do stuff, and other people will ignore the problem and hope they'll be dead before it gets really bad. But there are things we can do that would at least help. It would make a difference.

We need to pay more attention to what we do, what we buy, who we buy it from. Use compact fluorescent bulbs. Look into other kinds of power. Windmills, water mills, solar power-every year corporations pay a jillion dollars in legal fees to avoid getting fined for pollution violations. What if they took a tiny percentage of that money and put it toward coming up with with better energy sources?

I'm just one kid, and not even a regular kid. But if I can come up with all this, why can't you? Will you wait until the water is lapping at your feet?" - Max

Way to go, James Patterson!

Blood Red Diamonds*: Natasha

We walked to the library together, silently. It was quite awkward for both of us as we had never done that before; we were never in good terms with each other. Reaching there, I said, “Let’s do some individual research. We’ll then share all the information we collect.” She nodded, and took one computer. I took the computer right opposite her.

The first thing I did was put my head in my hands. I needed a moment to process all of this. We were here to research on red diamonds; costing a fortune per carat. And my future of having a clean legal record and getting my dream job looked bleak at the moment. I saw the fire in Diya’s eyes. I signed up for this. I had to research now.

I opened Chrome, and went on Google, typed in Red Diamonds. I got a hundred results. I first read a bit about red diamonds on Wikipedia, and went on other sites for a better understanding. What I found made me regret my decision even more. There was evidence that could prove Diya was right. There was a robbery of a red diamond sometime back in the UK. The thief was caught, but the piece of diamond never recovered. It vanished from the face of the earth. The picture of that piece of diamond was there. I looked around to check if anyone was nearby, took my phone out and clicked a picture of the diamond. I looked for more news articles. All of them said the same thing. There was nothing new to add. The date, I noticed, was about two years back. So, if the school has this diamond, it has been hiding it for about two years.

Done with my research, I sat next to Diya, looking at what she was reading. Her eyes stuck on the screen, she was furiously reading an article, oblivious to the world around her. With the curiosity she was reading, I just hoped she had found something more than I had. I couldn’t read what she was reading. I waited for her to finish, which didn’t happen soon.

When she finished, she looked in front of her. I tapped her shoulder to indicate that I am sitting right beside her. She turned towards me with so much enthusiasm, that I was stunned for a moment. Diya doesn’t have any enthusiasm for anything but all things girly. “Okay, so what did you find?” I asked her, hoping that she found something that would make my brains rolling.

“It was stolen. Two years back.” She said with much enthusiasm.

I sighed. “I know that too, Diya. Anything you found that was out-of-ordinary? I need something that could throw light on the robbery, and any hint of where the diamond is located right now.”

“No. I didn’t read anything like that. I read a lot about that robbery.”

“What was that last article that you were reading?”

“Oh, THAT…that was about a fashion designer’s new design…” she said with a cheeky look.

I looked at her with an incredulous look. “Diya, you signed me up for this, and now you’re acting kiddish! That’s it! I am backing out!” I got up from the chair, and walked out of the library, and the plan, hopefully, to never return again.

I went for the next class, and even Diya joined it a bit later. She looked at me pleading all throughout, and I ignored her. But, this was something I couldn’t stop thinking about. It was difficult for me to concentrate in the classes, and it was difficult for me to sleep at night. What if the school really had it? What could we do with it? What if this was all illegal? It was just like a story; an adventure. I decided I’ll become a part of it again, however meek I sound in front of Diya. 

Keep That Door Open

You and I will meet again, when we're least expecting it. One day, in some far off place I will recognize your face. I wont say goodbye, my friend, for you and I will meet again. - Tom Petty

Today, in a few hours, I depart to Hong Kong. I leave everything I have ever known behind, and start a new journey; a new life. A few months back, I was overwhelmed by the thought of shifting. Now that the day is here, I feel as if I am in denial. Even though my house is empty, even though there were cartons everywhere, even though there are empty cartons lying around, even though I saw potential buyers come and take away all the precious things we've had, I still dont feel as if we're going to board a flight in the next few hours and be gone to start a new life in a new place. Everyone around me seems to have accepted it. Not me. I am anxious about what would happen there, but I still feel as if there is a lot of time to go before it'll be executed. I have been spending time with all my friends, sleepovers, movies, hangouts and what not. The only thing I've been telling everyone is keep faith. Nothing is going to happen to whatever relationship we share. Now, I even realize that I do mean something to a lot of people.

And, one day, I stumbled upon the quote above. It was so refreshing that I forwarded it to all my friends, and its what has kept me from loosing faith in my own words. We will meet again. Sooner or later, is on fate. But, we will meet again. Until then, goodbye :)

Hong Kong is not the end, but its not the beginning either. Its just a phase; take it like a test. And, if our friendship is strong, it'll last all the distances in the world. Dont cry, because we will meet again. Keep that door open. One day you'll see me walk through it. Towards you. 

A Milestone's Passed

Ten years ago, when I first entered school, I always thought about how it would be to pass tenth, and how extra-difficult it would be to study so much and get through it; and about how long they have studied to reach the stage they have. I was scared that, in this decade long journey, I would fail somewhere in the middle, and would be termed a failure. What I didn't know was that my journey wont be a journey in one school. It would be spread out over several different schools, with different experiences and a lot of learning. From Bombay Scottish School, Powai to Vidyashilp Academy, Bangalore, this journey has had its ups and downs; it has given me lessons of life I would always cherish, it has brought to light the characteristics of a true friend, it has given infinite knowledge to me, it has taught me to be human and caring, it has helped me find my passion and area of interest, it has given rise to the thirst of knowledge in me! Because of the education, because of this decade, I have dreams I wouldn't have had, I have knowledge and understanding I wouldn't have had. My education, my foundation has made me competent for the whole world, for its saying to me, "Ridhee, its your world now, and your life. All this would be what you make of it, it would be what you want it to be and no one can ever shake your will or change your life."

On 13th March, a decade long journey abruptly came to an end. Its so abrupt that its still taking me time to get used to the fact that I have finished my tenth, and now its time to study my favorite subjects; its so abrupt that I am still doing some of the past papers given to me! Now, I just want my two more years to go peacefully and with a lot of fun and knowledge.

My journey until tenth was an amazing one, and I am so thankful we don't have the old system of not making girls study! 

Blood Red Diamonds*: Diya

I did not believe it. This could not be happening. But, I saw it with my own eyes! It must be a project on red diamonds…it didn’t look like one! I am sure our school is hiding it. Why would the student highlight red diamond everywhere if it was a project? Moreover, there was no title, anything that would make it look like a project. I had to go to the library to research on this. I was sure our school keeps the jewel! I made my way to the library, sat on a computer away from everyone else, and researched on the red diamond. What I found shocked me. One carat of this piece was worth 2 million dollars! But, I had to be sure that the school has the red diamonds in custody. I was sure, though!

I had to tell someone this…someone I could trust, someone who wouldn’t go tell the school. This one secret couldn’t leak out. I thought of all the people I could tell. Aaliyah? No, she is a chatterbox. Would tell every damn person on earth! I could tell Barbara, I don’t think she would tell anyone, but I don’t think she would help me research on this either. Eliminated. Well, Anila wouldn’t be a bad option either. No no no. Remember the time when she told everyone in the group about that guy? Can’t trust her anymore. Okay, let’s think of people outside the group. The guys? They won’t believe me. Deodan will go tell the whole world. Chandan will over-react and refuse to do anything with me. Who will listen to my plan and help me out? Who won’t judge me, tell the whole world, over-react or cut all ties with me? I thought about all the people in my class; went through everyone’s faces in the class…and stopped at Natasha’s. Yeah. I could tell her. She wouldn’t believe me at first, but, if I convince her with facts and all, she’ll give in! She wouldn’t even tell anyone, and we could decide what to do about it next.

We had a class now. She wouldn’t like bunking. Moreover, it was her favourite class. I had to tell her now, I wouldn’t get time later. I ran towards our class and saw her walking swiftly towards the class. I had to stop her. I jumped into the garden and ran towards the staircase that was before the class. Her eyes were set at the class. I had to reach her! I managed to!

I reached her and grabbed her hand. Thank goodness I was able to reach her right on time. I pulled her to a secluded corner of the garden used just by the couples of our school. But, I didn’t have a choice! I couldn’t afford anyone to listen to us talking.

I told her everything I knew and I had found out. She was very sceptical at first, and for the first time ever I actually saw her being herself with me.  She wouldn’t believe it. So I said, “We could research about it and find out the truth about this, Natasha. I am really intrigued by this. If the school is hiding this, why is it keeping everyone else in the dark? There should be a reason!”

“What if the school is not hiding it, Diya?” she countered.

“Then, we leave it! If it is, then I think we should research more on this; find out what is happening. It’s very important!”

“Even if the school hides these diamonds, what have we got to do with it? It must be some official matters. And I am not interested in getting expelled right before I am going to finish and leave.”

“I don’t have a good feeling about this, Natasha. These diamonds are not supposed to be here. I can feel it in my bones.”

“If that’s the case, Diya, what do you have in mind?”

“We research on this; find out all there is to find, and then do the right thing.”

“Define ‘right thing’.”

“We will take the course that seems best after digging up everything.”

“And how do you plan to dig up all of this?”

“With your help. We can use the internet, ask experts, sneak into principal’s office and do a lot more!”

“Why me, Diya? I am not close to you, or anyone else, you don’t know if you can trust me with this, and you still chose to tell me about it?”

“Yeah, Natasha. I’ve observed you. You can keep secrets and protect it with your life. You’ll even help me out in this, and probably, we can become good friends?”

She smiled at me, and said, “Okay. We’ll research on this. Lets first go to the library.”

I smiled back at her and squeezed her hand. She looked at me with a surprised expression. We got up to go to the library. It was the beginning of a strong friendship.

*Title subject to change. 

  

Welcome 2015

2014 has been left behind now, with all its happiness, sadness, anger, pride, injustice, justice, goodwills, and bad things.

Its been one of those special years for me where I was living out my last whole year, here in India, I was admitted into the tenth grade, to finish one stage of my schooling, I found new friends, lost old ones and life still moved on like it was not affected by any of those. This was one of the most happening years of my short life.

 I grew a year older, I saw my sister grow a year older, I attended my first Model United Nations Conference and the second one too. I grew a bit more mature. I lost friends who were close to me, I found new ones to replace them. I did numerous successful shows, I interacted with new people, I found out more about my dream, I came close to realizing a fraction of it, I flourished in my academics, and I lived.

2014 has given me a lot of life lessons, and it has also given me a lot of memories to look back upon. When 2014 started, I couldnt wait for it to get over. Now that its over, I want it back. There is a lot more I could have done in 2014, that I did not do, and now wish I had. There is always this year, says the optimistic me, and there is always the uncertainty, says the pessimistic me. I do hope this year offers me a lot of chances.

There are many people who have made 2014 worth it for me, and I would like to thank them all. From 2015, I am just hoping for a better year. 2015 is a crucial year for me, as I am closer than ever to my boards, and then, I will be closer to going on to 11th grade, studying what I love the most.

2015 is going to get a lot of changes in my life, drastic changes that too, which I know I can deal with. But, before those changes occur, I am hoping for this year to let me go out there and experience a bit of the world before I get engrossed in school and studies again. This time, I havent made any resolutions. This time I am wishing the year will take its course, and the right one, so that  I will be closer to realizing my dream I have seen from childhood.

This year is a new beginning, and we should treat it as such. Forget old rivalries, make new friends, stop judging, and welcome everyone with open arms.

Have a great year! Welcome, 2k15.

World War III

From time immemorial, wars have defined our lives. From the Neolithic man, to the government of the today, wars are the first solution to every problem. Kings of olden times acquired land and wealth by fighting wars with neighbouring kingdoms. They were respected on the basis of how many wars they fought and how many they won. Of course, they lost their lives if they lost a war. It’s because of war India became colonized under the British rule. War is why the world faced massive destruction and financial losses on not one, but two occasions. And, it’s what the world is destining itself to now.

War, in the dictionary, is defined as “a contest between nations or states, carried on by force, whether for defence, for revenging insults and redressing wrongs, for the extension of commerce, for the acquisition of territory, for obtaining and establishing the superiority and dominion of one over the other, or for any other purpose; armed conflict of sovereign powers; declared and open hostilities.” A contest between nations, involving bloodshed, destruction, and unnecessary civilian loss. War is one of the most destructive actions mankind has ever come up with.

We've had two world wars until now, and the results of both have been disastrous. Achievements? Nothing. During the Second War, the atom bomb, commonly known as the nuclear bomb, was used for destruction on two occasions to destroy two Japanese cities. And, oh! The destruction! It was worse than bad, it was worse than a 9.0 earthquake. I doubt the cities are purified of all the nuclear material and air the bombs left behind. J. Robert Oppenheimer, the inventor of the atomic bomb, said, “The atomic bomb made the prospect of war unendurable.” Yes, in a new World War, we will leave behind barren land for the few of those who were lucky enough (or should I say unlucky?) to survive. Some people call the making of the atomic bomb a breakthrough invention, others call it a necessary evil, and I call it utter madness.

Coming to the point of it all, I am talking about a prospect of a new World War. World War III. Maybe it will be a little different from the other wars in the starting, but eventually, nations will turn on each other. In the starting though, all the countries of the world would team up and turn against all the extremist groups present in the world. I have nothing against Islam, it is a faith like many others, and I respect it. But, some people take it upon themselves to prove that Islam is the only true faith and the one to be followed. They disembark on the journey to convert everyone into Islam. You refuse? You die.

Sometime during the war, countries will turn on each other, for the most trivial reasons possible. The people who will die will be us, and our soldiers. And then, countries will start bombing each other, leaving our earth barren, experiencing a catastrophic rise in global temperatures, and killing millions of people who had nothing to do with the war.

When there is a war between two countries, the governments of other countries rescue their citizens from there. During this World War, people do not have any place to go. They will be stuck and their only faith will be death.

Non-violence works. One man tried it, thousands followed him and he almost one. Gandhi is our example here. It’s now time for everyone to follow Gandhi again. Violence and war wouldn't achieve anything. Killing innocent children to feel strong and to take “revenge” is gut- wrenching and killing women who refuse to marry jihadists is outrageous. It’s time to adopt the most peaceful method possible, to avoid the soil turning red permanently. 

Ivy League Model United Nations Conference 2014

My teacher told me there was a MUN (Model United Nations) coming up in the month of October in Delhi. I wanted to go for it, try it out. I didnt know how difficult it would be. I signed up for my first Model UN Conference ever in July! The next few months were for preparing us delegates for one of the most prestigious conferences ever. At that time, I realized MUNning is hard. It is not an easy task and it requires a lot of dedication and hard work. I was in the Historical General Assembly: Copenhagen Climate Change Conference of 2009, representing Pakistan. The more and more I researched, the more and more I realized its one of the hardest extra-curricular activities. I researched a lot, forewent many things, and prayed that I was fully equipped for my first Model UN.

The most awaited day arrived, and I boarded the plane with a mix of emotions: anxiety, excitement, confusion, curiosity. I was anxious, the anxiety growing every minute. How would my chair be? What about my vice-chairs? Would I make friends? Would my contacts increase? Will I be able to speak? Will my fellow delegates in my committee respect me? These were few of the questions running through my head during the two hour flight to Delhi. We landed in Delhi, and were met by a person from the Secretariat. We traveled from the airport to the hotel, which took around one and a half hours. We settled down in our rooms, and got ready for our first committee session. I took a few deep breaths and entered committee. We talked to people around us and made some acquaintances. With this, we started. I was very nervous for my first committee session, and I messed up my first speech. I decided I wont speak again that day! I felt very bad! But, as committee progressed, I wanted to speak again. I wanted to rectify my mistake! So, I spoke again! And, it was better than last time!

Every committee session, my speeches and my way of speaking kept on improving. I started to get a hang of how does committee work; how voting happens; how resolutions are made, etc. I started getting more confident, and recognizing people. I wasnt as good as the delegates MUNning for the eight and ninth time, but I did realize I was very good for a novice! My fellow delegates were quite surprised when I told them this is my first Model UN. They were in the impression that it is my third or fourth Model UN. Even though I did not win anything, I am happy with a performance that exceeds my expectations. We would call each other by our countries' name and  not by our own name! It was weird at first, but I did get used to it. I made quite a few friends, not only from my committee, but from other committees as well!

We bought roses for each other and wrote romantic messages and pick up lines just to embarrass them in committee, we bought Ivy League mugs and glasses and t-shirts as souvenirs. With the seriousness of solving global issues that is a big concern in the global society, we even had fun with the roses, and the delegate fest and the delegate dance (dont be fooled. It is not a sophisticated dance, but a crazy disco night, which cant get any crazier!). The past four days in Delhi, attending this conference has been one of the best experiences of my life, and I look forward to more of this sort. I will be posting here after every Model UN Conference I attend! 

Loud Whispers

It was March, when I stepped back again in YT for my theatre season. We were a small group of about six-seven people back then. We still used to train for CTS (complete-the-story) and had loads of fun, between all of us. Then, the new basic workshop joined us. The energy in the space intensified ten fold, and I felt as if I am back in the children's workshop. We gradually came up with our stories and finalized them. Yes, people left and people came and we had to accommodate all of them, which was a difficult task. By the time it was June, we were ready with our pieces; eager to go and show them to the audience waiting for us out there!

We had our first show, and then our second show, and then our third show in many different places. Angel's Home, Dream Society (I hope I am right!), Vasanthnagar (was it?) Government School, and another school in that area, oh, and a labour camp! We went to many such places like that to perform, targeting NGOs and Government Schools.

In no time, we had put up around seven shows around Bangalore. It took us around a month and a half to two months to finish this. And, then, we worked on our SIP. We polished our stories and added scenes, while also discarding them; we added dialogues, and discarded them; we changed this and that and worked real hard on our piece; something we kept really close to our heart. We had spent months getting this done. We wanted it to be perfect. Every minute in YT, I spent my time either thinking about my piece or rehearsing it and improving it.

And, two months later, we were all ready with it! We were ready to go out there and perform our first SIP. We did it, and we ourselves saw the change in the performance we used to do, and we did now. A six month journey has abruptly come to an end. It was one of the best journeys I have ever had, and I am not going to forget this. Its amazing to see the amount of learning and change in us and I am sure we are all craving for more; more formats, more shows, more learning opportunities. YT never stops giving life lessons, and the journey has just begin! There is so much more to do; there are so many more chances!

Thankyou Loud Whispers for being the amazing team that you are! Had the best time, and the best experiences with you! Thankyou Madam Artistic Director for believing in us, and giving us this chance! I look forward to many more enlightening days!

P.S I have used "WE" because I know I am speaking not only for myself, but for everyone who has been a part of Loud Whispers.  

Is Humanity Really Dead?

I remember learning in Indian history about untouchability. I thought with the anti-untouchability laws it must have been eradicated. I came to know, yesterday, it is still followed like before. People say giving the SCs and STs reservations is wrong. But after realizing the way they are treated, I feel its right. If the learned people feel that untouchability should be followed, then we are damned! And, no, this is not an assumption. I saw a video. I will attach the link at the end.

Why can't the lower castes rise and become normal citizens? In the urban world, untouchability is not followed openly, but it is still rampant. In the rural areas, its as if time has been stuck. Children going to school are taught about untouchability. Lower caste children are made to clean bathrooms while upper caste children enjoy in school. In a country that is developing so fast, untouchability can be the factor that will destroy everything. If government schools teach children about untouchability, I do not know how and when are we going to eradicate poverty itself from this country.

In the video, I saw how these people were treated and what ridiculous rules they had to follow! For example, in a tea stall the Shudras get tea in cups made of glass and they have to wash it before going. Moreover, before entering the shop, they have to remove their slippers. Rules like this exist in almost all villages.

It is not only about the villages; not only about being unable to draw water from the wells; not only about discriminating between children; not only about the illiterate. Its about everyone! This is followed in offices in the urban parts undercover; unofficially. The minute someone comes to know you are from a lower caste, they stop trusting you and giving you work. Why do we have a mindset like this? Its the 21st century. Times are changing, and this is not the time to discriminate between CASTE!!! Caste does not define who a person is. Caste is not the basis to judge a person on; nothing is.

Infact, converts from Hinduism to other religions have carried the caste system with them, too. I should not be talking about religions, but I feel so sad when I realize that Hinduism has contaminated other religions with the caste system. Caste should not be the reason potential friendships are broken, and it should not be the reason people shun each other.

The worst part about the cast system is that the so-called "upper castes" take advantage of the lower castes and torture them! If the lower castes try standing up to them, they are beaten; murdered! The amount of torture the "lower castes" go through is horrendous! The caste system has ruined lives in a way that can ruin worlds. The more I write, the more I feel the caste system should be removed. And, it should! Or, it will destroy everything India has ever striven to achieve.

P.S its a two hour documentary. Please see it when you are going to be completely free. Please see it till the end, because every second has something different to offer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgDGmYdhZvU